Re: Unholy Intervention: Legend of the LOL's

[A Blind Guy]

cough. "Hello."

[Helsing]

Waylon took a step forward and examined Kon. He held up a hand, allowing his aura to flow around it.

"Hold still please."

A glyph appeared under Kon, forcing him into the air and in a laying position. It was like he was on an invisible operating table. Waylon pulled a flashlight out of his pocket and examined Kon's eyes.

"Hmm... And here I thought it was going to be worse. You've never had your sight have you? I was expecting something worse. But don't worry, give me an hour and you'll be seeing the sunset."

[Flagmauth]

"Worse as in what, that his eyeballs were physically destroyed?"

[A Blind Guy]

"An hour?" Kon was surprised by how  fast it could be done. 

"Wait, what did you mean by worse?"

[Flagmauth]

"Like running your eyeballs through a juicer I think."

[A Blind Guy]

Kon cringes so hard he inverts into a small ball, reforming himself moments later. 

"please no."

[Flagmauth]

"I veto the use of juicers in this cure for any reason, since they can't even make decent juice."

[Helsing]

"If your eyeballs were literally decaying husks, then it would be worse. But they're fine. But on a more interesting note, Eyeball juice... I've never had an experiment with that before."

[Flagmauth]

"If you do that I recommend a lot of salt. Salt makes most things taste better. Except cookie dough."

[Helsing]

Waylon hummed "Salt on eyeballs. Seems... counter productive."

[Flagmauth]

"Not if you're going to eat them, which if juicers are involved I assume you are."

[Helsing]

"Can we please change the subject?" Weiss asked.

"Sorry Weiss, I feel I'm on the verge of a new science." Waylon said "You were saying good sir?"

[A Blind Guy]

by this point Kon has reduced himself to the size of a tennis ball and it was only getting smaller.

[Flagmauth]

"You'd probably need stem cells otherwise we'll run out of eyeballs. Grow them in vats."

[A Blind Guy]

Golf Ball. 

[Helsing]

Waylon rubbed his chin "Interesting."

He glanced down at Kon and smiled "Don't worry, I'm not going to do that. I am a general, it's rare that I get to have a little fun. Everyone is so serious in Atlas."

[A Blind Guy]

<fun?> kon returned to his normal size. "Pardon me, I just hate eye-gore. "

[Flagmauth]

"That explains a lot about Weiss, honestly. If you want fun you should visit Vacuo sometime. It's all fun. And gunshots." Jeff thought for a second. "Is 'funshots' a word?"

[Helsing]

"That triggers me on some level." Mark comments.

Waylon shrugs "I visit Vacuo on ocation. Not much business beyond the quality of dust, or if Headmaster Haven is involved."

Mark's eyes lit up "Oh you know uncle Chester!"

Waylon blinked "You know him?"

"I wouldn't call him uncle otherwise, but that's beside the point doesn't Kon need surgery?"

"Oh yes." Waylon snapped his fingers and a drone came from the ship. It handed him a clipboard and a pen both of which he handed to Kon.

"Sign here and here, initials here and date of birth here."

[A Blind Guy]

Kon signed the sheet on the clipboard.

[Flagmauth]

"What's this in the fine print about Kon's and I quote: 'eternal soul?'"

[Helsing]

"This just says that I get his corpse once the operation is over."

[Flagmauth]

"Oh. Are you going to turn him into an undead cyborg? That seems very Atlesian. In a good way."

[Helsing]

"I was thinking of cloning, and then cyborgs, but we can skip the middle man if you want."

[Flagmauth]

"Can you make him transform into a main battle tank? Ooh, or a battleship? Nobody ever made a battleship Transformer and its high time someone fixed that."

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